It’s never been clearer that we need to make taking care of others and ourselves a priority. One of the reasons I love being an accredited mediator is because I get the privilege of working with people though tough stuff, and by dealing with that tough stuff they are taking care of themselves. By working to manage and resolve conflicts, face important difficult conversations, and communicate more productively when they’re angry they are removing stress, strengthening relationships and becoming better problem solvers when new conflict arises. Its

 

Conflict in our lives is inevitable

The Because conflict in our lives is inevitable. If we deal with it well we’re preventing sleepless nights and workplace anxiety. That’s a wellness benefit for us and for those around us. That’s why my mission is to make conflict resolution tools and strategies available to everyone.

 

It’s why I’m really excited to announce that a project I worked on in the fall is now live. I was approached by an incredible company to create some content for their clients around managing and having those important difficult conversations we all have in our lives. It felt like such a great fit, a North American digital wellness platform and my love of talking conflict resolution!

 

 I’m a LifeSpeak Expert and my content is live!

LifeSpeak creates incredible resources for companies to share with their employees that help them manage their well-being. They understand that people’s personal lives don’t stop existing the minute they walk into the office or (log on to the office these days.) They’ve got a great roster of over 2,000 experts who have created videos, blogs and podcasts that focus on issues that everyone deals with. LifeSpeak Home

To say that I am honoured to be a LifeSpeak Expert is an understatement. LifeSpeak’s mission to support employees as people speaks to my soul. Mental Health issues are a big focus of theirs and the corporations who subscribe to their content are giving their employees access to some awesome support and resources.

I can’t believe that self-conscious me agreed to be on camera!

Working with LifeSpeak gave me an opportunity to get to know them, and I can honestly say that their team walks the talk. They truly are motivated by the goal of creating change and being a positive force in the world. Again, I’m so proud to be a contributor. Healthy conflict management is an important piece of our well-being.

Difficult conversations can range from telling your co-worker that they’ve crossed a personal boundary to telling your mother-in-law that she really hurt you with the comments she made last year that you still haven’t gotten over. They could be about approaching your partner about financial issues, or bringing up estate planning or a manager needing to talk to an employee about performance concerns. They are unavoidable in life.

How we approach them can have a big impact on the outcome and the content that LifeSpeak asked for addresses this. There are 6 videos that LifeSpeak members can watch, from preparing for a difficult conversation to what to do after you’ve had that conversation to keep the momentum going.

 

Avoiding tough conversations isn’t healthy

It isn’t healthy to avoid tough conversations, when we avoid important things because they are going to be hard we don’t solve things. All we do is creating an ongoing stress that little by little can wear us down. My clients usually express such relief after working with me to have those difficult conversations. There’s a sense of accomplishment that they faced something hard, and did it in a productive and kind way.

And the best part? Those tools are yours forever once you’ve put them in your toolbox, ready for your next difficult conversation. You can share them with your co-workers, friends and family. You can spread that knowledge everywhere!

If you or your organization would like training or support around difficult conversations, book a consultation to learn how I can help. Schedule a consultation here

Sarah Turl is an accredited mediator who is passionate about helping people achieve the impossible, turning difficult conversations into productive difficult conversations!  Giving employees tools and skills to improve conflict management is a win-win in her eyes.

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I’m not the artistic one in our family, not by a long shot. I struggle to draw a straight line using a ruler.  Pair that with a sister who is a legitimately next-level talented photographer and my lack of skills are even more obvious.  So why have I fallen in love with paint nights and how in the world does it relate to conflict resolution?

In July of 2020 I signed my sister and I up for a virtual paint night.  I didn’t know what to expect, but I knew that I was craving something outside of what had become the monotony of COVID life.  My sister and I did it together and we had so much fun!  We laughed a lot, especially at my painting.  Even though mine was terrible, I loved spending that time with my sister.  I loved doing something that had my brain working in a different way and I loved feeling connected to other people.

Trina and I wanted to create something similar, so we did!

I did paint this! For our first paint night we celebrated Walter’s 10th birthday!

Being the non-artist the plan was that I would facilitate conversation in the group while Trina would guide us through a painting.  As a mediator, facilitating conversations is my jam.  I figured that if I can do it with stressed out, hurt and frustrated people that I could do it with happy painters.

What I didn’t realize was that I’d recognize that those paint nights had more in common with conflict resolution than just me moderating the conversation.  I learned, that with some guidance and support I could actually create art!

People often tell me that they’re stuck in a conflict because the other person is the problem, that a solution is impossible, or that they can’t talk it out.  Then they give me side eye when I tell them optimistically that I believe that with some help, things aren’t impossible.  I don’t believe that because its some pipe dream of what the world can be, I believe that because I’ve seen it work.  Because I’ve worked with people through ‘impossible’ conversations.  I’ve seen people change conflicts though working one-on-one with me.

Yes, I DID paint this!!

Trina and I have now hosted 2 Paint & Networking Nights, and both times I’ve created art that I’m proud of.  When I look at it, I feel proud of myself for achieving something that I didn’t think was possible.  Are my paintings perfect?  Nope, not even close.  But they are better than I thought they could be, and they make ME happy.

That’s what can happen more often than not when we face conflict, when we have difficult conversations.  But much like me and my paintings, we can’t always do it on our own.  Having someone with the skills to guide us through the conversation, someone who can see what is possible, someone who knows what we need to do to work through things, allows people to create understanding and solutions.  Even when it seems impossible.

When Trina shared the first painting we’d be doing for our inaugural Paint & Networking Night I didn’t think I’d create something that would actually put on my wall but it’s up there in the dining room.  To be honest, when she shared the second painting, I also didn’t feel super confident.  But you know what?  It turns out that with a little bit of guidance I can paint.  The impossible is possible.

I’m beaming! Because I painted some apples!!

When she shares the next painting, I’m going to go into it feeling far more confident and able.

That’s how I want you to feel about your next tough conversation, about managing an ongoing conflict in your life….if I can paint apples, I believe that you can find solutions.  And I’m here to be your guide through it.

For the record, I understand that managing and resolving conflict isn’t on the same level as a fun paint night where I try to paint apples.  I take the trust that is given to me by my clients very seriously, I take the enormity of a dispute seriously.  I have the upmost admiration for those that are willing to do the hard work that comes along with the conflict resolution process.  But I see conflict resolution everywhere, potential everywhere, and I want to share that with you all.

If you’d like to check out Trina’s work, you can find her stock images at https://clioandfox.com/ and her commercial work at http://www.trinaphoto.com  Sign up for our newsletter or follow us on social to learn about our next Paint & Networking Night.

Beyond being a budding artist, Sarah Turl is an optimistic mediator who’s goal is to bring conflict resolution to everyone.  A member of both the ADRIC and ADRIO, Sarah holds the designation of Q.Med.

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Right now times feel tense and strange. Heck they are stressful and tense times!

Now for a bit of normalcy!

It’s #WalterWisdomWednesday Today’s Walter wisdom is borrowed from Desmond Tutu. Did you know that your point doesn’t become more valid if you say it again but louder?

Change your tone to one of trying to problem solve, ask why they aren’t agreeing to your point. And then really listen to why they don’t agree. Don’t just wait for your chance to make the same point again just more aggressively.

And if you’re struggling to do it on your own, that’s totally normal reach out and see if I’m a good fit to help you.

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